How to Know if You Can Trust Someone in a Long-Distance Relationship

Avoid asking your long-distance love for 24-7 updates.
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When your love was just a few miles away you felt completely comfortable in your ability to trust her. Now that she's moving across the state -- or across the country -- you're questioning whether the physical distance will somehow change her from trustworthy to tricky. Knowing if you can trust your partner in a long-distance relationship comes from within yourself as well as from her.

1 Pre-Move Indicators

Before the distance puts a dent in your relationship, take a look at how much you truly trust your guy. If the trust isn't there before he heads off to college or moves across the country with his family, it's not likely to magically materialize after he goes. Trusting your guy means believing that what he tells you is true. If you're constantly texting him to ask where he is or accuse him of lying when he says he was with his guy pals, you have no basis for trusting him after the move.

2 Clear Commitment

Making a commitment to each other before either you or your partner leaves shows the level of trust that you have for one another. Clarify the type of commitment that is expected, as different couples may have differing ideas of what this means. For example, if the two of you pledge to stay monogamous, you should have the ability to trust her not to cheat. On the other hand, if her "pledge" to you is iffy or she says something such as, "Sure, we're together now. But, let's just see what happens when I get to college," she isn't showing you that you can trust her not to stray.

3 Separate Identities

If your guy's new life seems further away from you than the mere miles that are separating you, it doesn't mean that you can't trust him. A long-distance relationship requires a blend of dependence and independence, asserts the North Dakota State University's Counseling Center. Don't confuse your partner's new interests or independence as distrustful. For example, if he suddenly joins his new school's drama club, don't assume it's because a cute girl asked him to. Support his new interests and trust that he's growing as a person and not straying.

4 Calling on Communication

Suddenly your girl stops calling, she doesn't return your texts or when you call she quietly whispers that she "can't talk now." Her unwillingness to communicate with you may indicate that you have a reason not to trust her fully. While this isn't the case 100 percent of the time, if your girl cuts all communication she may also want to cut all ties to you as well. On the other hand, if she eagerly talks to you about what's going on in her daily life, it's easier for you to trust that she's being true to you. Doing so helps you to get a full picture of her new life and what she's up to.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.