Can You Ever Go Back to an Old Love & Fix It?

Start with a small gesture to rebuild your relationship.
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He cheated, she lied and they both got so bored they completely stopped speaking. What ever the reason your relationship ended, as time goes by you may begin to wonder if you can get your lost love back. While you can't fix every failed romance, some ex-loves can go back and rekindle their relationships.

1 Too Young at the Time

Young couples still in high school, or even the early years of college, aren't always equipped to have serious relationships. It's common for high school loves to burn bright, and then quickly fizzle. As teens grow and change, so do their interests and potentially their romantic partners. If you grew apart from your high school sweetheart, broke up because the long-distance of a college relationship was too much to handle or because you just weren't ready to settle down, you might eventually fix your old love and resume your romance. As you get older and more mature, you may feel more comfortable committing or as if you're finally ready for a real relationship.

2 One-Way Love

When one person in the relationship breaks things off, and the other doesn't accept that the romance is ending, rekindling a lost love is unlikely, according to professor of psychology Nancy Kalish in her article "Lost Loves: Real or Faux?" on the "Psychology Today" website. For example, even though you still had feelings for your guy, he broke things off and moved on with someone else. Now he's single again, and you still haven't gotten over him. Can you go back and fix your relationship? Just because you're still holding on to the idea of him doesn't mean that he will magically fall back in love with you. If the love is one-sided, going back and trying to put it back together isn't likely to work out. Focus on your future -- with someone else -- and make the past history.

3 What If?

While wondering, "What would have happened if ... ?" isn't uncommon, you can't change the past. Thinking that you can go back to happier times if only something hadn't happened to end your relationship is wishful at best. For example, you cheated on your girlfriend, causing her to dump you. Months, or years, later your next relationship isn't going smoothly, and your mind begins to wander back to the mistake that you made with your ex. You wonder, "What if I hadn't hurt her? Maybe we could still be happy together." Don't trick yourself into thinking that deleting your past can fix your present.

4 Apology Accepted

Whether you lied to him or he did something to anger you, sometimes an apology can fix a broken relationship. While this isn't the case 100 percent of the time, some couples may find that forgiveness allows them to go back and mend their romance. If you're considering going back and trying to fix things between the two of you, a sincere apology is an absolute must. This includes an acknowledgement of and taking responsibility for the hurtful action and plenty of patience, according to therapists Linda and Charlie Bloom on the PsychCentral website. Forgiveness doesn't happen right away, and it may take time before the two of you can get back on track and begin working on the relationship rebuilding process.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.