How to Work Through Being Hurt by a Boyfriend

Crying is a normal, healthy part of healing.
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Even the healthiest relationships can contain some emotional pain. Being hurt by someone you care about can leave you feeling betrayed, confused, angry and devastated. If you've been hurt by your boyfriend, it is critical to process your thoughts and emotions. Doing so is essential to working through your trauma and restoring a sense of well-being. Taking deliberate steps to care for yourself will help you through the healing process.

1 Feel Your Emotions

People use a variety of unhealthy means to avoid their painful emotions, such as drugs, alcohol or excessive sleep. Avoiding feelings, however, does not resolve them and could potentially compound your problems. Think about what you do when you are upset. If your means of coping actually prevent you from healing, identify other ways of dealing with your feelings. Talking or writing about them can be helpful, as well as expressing them through art. Feelings aren't permanent, and allowing yourself to experience them is the best way to work through them.

2 Take Breaks

Healing from emotional pain is a tedious, exhausting process. While it is critical to deal with your hurt productively, it is unhealthy to be perpetually submerged in pain. Prioritize time to do things you enjoy, such as attending a concert, getting a massage, going to the movies, reading or shopping. Taking care of yourself should be a part of your life even during periods of minimal stress, so it is especially important when you are hurting. Self-care also includes getting adequate rest, exercise and nourishment, in addition to regular medical care.

3 Seek Support

Everyone deserves sensitivity and support during times of crisis. Reach out to trustworthy friends and family members, according to the article "Getting Over a Breakup" on Keep in touch with them regularly and let them know how you're doing. Make plans to go hiking together or to have lunch. Reciprocating their support by listening to their dilemmas and offering your own suggestions and kindness may even improve your sense of self-worth. Depending on the extent of your trauma, it may even be helpful to see a counselor or therapist who can teach you other ways to cope.

4 Physical Pain

You may decide to take additional measures if your boyfriend has hurt you physically. Think about holding him accountable legally by reporting the abuse to police or obtaining a civil order of protection. Seek medical treatment if needed. His behavior is likely to escalate, particularly if he believes he is losing control over the relationship, according to information provided by the National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you feel you are in danger, contact your local battered women's program for assistance with creating a plan to help you stay safe.

Jill Avery-Stoss is a graduate of Penn State University and a writer and editor based in northeast Pennsylvania. Having spent more than a decade working with victims of sexual and domestic violence, she specializes in writing about women's issues, with emphasis on families and relationships.