How to Reconcile a Broken Friendship

Even though you both feel hurt and disappointed, it is possible to heal the wounds of a broken friendship and stay involved in each other's lives. All friendships experience ups and downs. Learning to deal with hurt feelings is what makes or breaks a friendship. If you feel like your friend is the missing puzzle piece in your life, work on fixing your friendship with commitment, patience and effort.

The first step in reconciling your friendship is to start communicating again. Silence will only add salt to the wounds and will alienate you both even more. If you're ready to continue with your friendship, have the courage to re-establish communication. Send your friend a text or email or give her a call to tell her that you miss her and would like to talk. If you decide to have a conversation to iron things out, try to communicate with each other a few times before this discussion takes place.

The first step in repairing your friendship is accepting that you both hurt each other. Acknowledge each other's feelings and accept that you both played a part in damaging the friendship. Allow each of you to freely express your hurt, disappointment and anger. Avoid downplaying or making excuses throughout this conversation. "If your hurt is dismissed, minimized or denied, by yourself or others, then the wound is likely to fester and it is unlikely trust will be repaired," notes counselor, educator and attorney David Bedrick in his Psychology Today article "Building & Repairing Trust: Keys to Sustainable Relationship."

If you want your friendship to thrive in the future, you need to forgive and let go of any grudges that you hold against your friend. Accept that everyone makes mistakes and that, although your friend might have betrayed or disappointed you, he deserves a second chance. Every time you find yourself thinking about the past, dissuade these thoughts by thinking about the positive things about your friendship. Forgiving your friend will benefit not only your friendship but also your health. A study published in "Psychological Science" found that unforgiving thoughts increase the overall stress response in your body by increasing your heart rate, blood pressure and aversive emotions.

If you're both interested in mending the friendship, you probably value each other and want to have the other person involved in your life. Focus on the positive qualities that your friend brings to your life. Maybe she can be a bit possessive or overwhelming, but she's also a great listener. Make sure that your friend knows how important she is to you and how grateful you are for having her in your life. An attitude of appreciation will help the friendship weather storms that come up in the future.