Problems with Dating out of Your Social Class

Dating outside your social class can bring an imbalance of power.
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He is from a wealthy family and you come from the other side of the tracks. Although it was unlikely the two of you would end up dating, sparks flew and the rest is history. The whirlwind romance has been fun, but it hasn't been without roadblocks. Dating outside your social class can be fraught with complications.

1 Understanding Nuances

People from different social classes may have trouble understanding the way other classes operate. The "New York Times" article "When Richer Weds Poorer, Money Isn't the Only Difference" describes a couple in which the lower-class husband did not fit in with people from his wealthy wife's social class -- because he was a straight shooter and she and her friends talked around issues. People from different social classes have different ways of acting -- similar to a culture -- that can take time to understand.

2 Money Talks

If your boyfriend has enough family money to buy designer clothing, drive his own sports car and apply to dozens of colleges, while you are flipping burgers at the local hamburger joint to scrape together enough money to attend the local community college, you may have trouble seeing eye to eye. You also might have issues when it comes to doing things together, since his tastes might outweigh what you can afford.

3 Power Imbalance

If your girlfriend is wealthy, and you come from a family with less money, you might feel as though there is a power imbalance in the relationship. Often the person with more money ends up making most of the decisions -- because she may be the one paying for things most of the time. Although this is not a deal-breaker, it can take time to get comfortable with the idea that there is a natural imbalance of power in the relationship that will be hard to change.

4 Critical Outsiders

Sometimes the problem with dating outside your social class has nothing to do with the actual relationship. Instead, you might face harsh criticism from friends and family who believe that the two of you are a bad match. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to remember that you are the one in the relationship -- not the other people. Although it might take extra work to be in a partnership that is outside your comfort zone, as discussed in the Psychology Today article "How to Date Outside Your Comfort Zone," that doesn't mean that the two of you can't make it work.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.

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