What Can I Say When My Girlfriend Gets Mad Over Something Stupid?

Never call your girlfriend
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Perhaps you forgot that today is your three-month anniversary and your girlfriend went ballistic. If your girl gets mad over something that seems trivial to you, dealing with the situation in a caring and diplomatic way may make the difference between an even bigger blowup and smoothing things over quickly. Knowing the right thing to say can calm her down and diffuse any leftover tension.

1 Stupid Moves

It doesn't matter how ridiculous, silly or frivolous you think your girlfriend's problem is, outright saying it's "stupid" isn't likely to help your situation. For example, if she started screaming because you showed up 10 minutes late for your date, telling her, "I was practically on time. Who cares about 10 minutes anyway? That's so stupid" will land you in hot water. Even if rational thought tells you that the issue is no big deal, telling her so minimizes her feelings. This may make it seem like you don't care about her or don't respect her opinion.

2 Mind Reader

Before you jump to conclusions, make sure that you completely understand why your girl is mad. You aren't a mind reader, and neither of you should think that you are. Effective communication in a healthy relationship includes talking to each other about your wants and needs, asserts the article "What's Your Relationship Reality?" on Stayteen.org. When she shows her anger over something that's seemingly stupid, stop and calmly ask her, "What's wrong?" This shows your caring side and can help her to better communicate what's bothering her. For example, you may think that she's mad at you for not texting her last night, while she's actually angry that you went out with your friends instead of her.

3 Laugh It Off

While you don't want to minimize your girl's anger, approaching it with a sense of humor may help to diffuse the situation. Humor is a communication strategy that allows you to keep your cool while disarming a difficult situation, suggests communication coach Preston Ni in his online article, "8 Keys to Dealing With Problem People," on "Psychology Today." Keep in mind that there's a difference between making a well-meaning joke and making fun of your girlfriend. Try turning the humor on yourself, or at the situation that's angering her. For example, if she's mad because you didn't notice her new dress on a dinner date, make fun of yourself and say, "It looks like I only have eyes for the 'dressing' on the salad."

4 Saying Sorry

If you did something that made her mad, apologizing can help to soothe her temper -- no matter how trivial you think that the issue is. A sincere, "I'm sorry" can come in handy if you've hurt your girlfriend's feelings or didn't do something that you promised to. Be specific and add in the reason for the apology. For example, if she's mad because you didn't sit with her in the cafeteria at lunch, try something such as, "I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings when I sat at that other table."

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.