Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and open communication. Both people involved in the relationship should have a sense of safety and feel free to speak their thoughts without fear of retaliation. If this safety has been compromised and you fear that your boyfriend might hurt you, there is a strong chance you are already involved in an abusive relationship. Noticing this and accepting it are the first steps toward breaking free from your boyfriend.
Notice the Signs
Teenage girls may mistake jealousy, possessiveness or aggressiveness for love. Sadly, these qualities could make your boyfriend a potential abuser, according to the Teens Health article, "Abusive Relationships." You may feel he cares deeply for you. In reality, he may be insecure because he fears the relationship will end. In an abusive relationship, your boyfriend will try to control you rather than deal with his feelings. You become an object, rather than a person with thoughts, feelings and desires.
Avoid isolating yourself or thinking that reaching out for help is a sign of weakness, says Teens Health. Confide in a trusted friend or adult. Turn to one of your parents, a teacher, coach or school counselor. If you have difficulty opening up to an adult, confide in a friend who can accompany you for support when you tell an adult. You will need help getting out of this relationship. Friends, family or other trusted authority figures can assist you.
Keep any nasty or demeaning texts, emails or voice messages your boyfriend sends you. This will help you explain the situation to parents or counselors. Your parents may choose to contact the authorities regarding his behavior. Depending on the situation, this may help him in the long run. He may be able to get the appropriate counseling and treatment needed to change his abusive ways. You should not remain in an abusive situation while he works through his issues, recommends the Palo Alto Medical Foundation in the article, "Abusive Romantic Relationships."
No Looking Back
Your parents or counselor can help you determine the safest way to end the relationship. If you choose to end it face-to-face, do so in a public place with a parent or other trusted adult present. Your boyfriend is less likely to behave abusively toward you in a public place. Stick to your decision if he promises to change or attempts to blame you for his actions. If you are frightened to end the relationship in person, speaking over the phone or sending an email may be your best option.
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