Addressing Insecurity in a Relationship

Touch can be a healing element in relationships.
... Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images

Addressing insecurity in your relationship is delicate and should be approached with ample amounts of communication, reassurance and affection. Insecurity often stems from fear and low self-esteem, which may cause your partner to act clingy or emotional. To help your partner feel more secure about the relationship, the most beneficial action you can take is increasing your communication. Then make gradual efforts to support your partner physically and emotionally.

1 Identifying the Source of Insecurity

Identifying the source of your partner's insecurity involves communicating with them, asking questions and listening. Let your partner know their happiness is important to you and that you've noticed they seem unsure about the relationship lately. Ask what's prompting insecure feelings. Listen closely and if you need clarification, ask additional questions to determine the core issue. For example, you might ask, "Did I say or do something that made you feel insecure?" By asking specific questions, you'll learn more about your partner's needs and how to fulfill them.

2 Communicate More Often

Communication is the key to success in all relationships. Give your partner a sense of security by being more vocal about what you're thinking and feeling. Tell your partner you love them and ask what they need from you, emotionally or physically, to feel loved. This gives your partner a sense of stability and reiterates your feelings for them. It's also important to encourage your partner to communicate insecure feelings with you, so you can address them more effectively.

3 Reassurance and Affection

Reassurance and affection go hand-in-hand when dealing with insecurity. Therapist Elisabeth Mandel of the Synergetic Psychotherapy practice in New York indicates that reassurance takes both verbal and nonverbal forms. One way to reassure your partner is to verbally communicate you're there for them and you'll figure out any issues that arise together. Another way to reassure your partner is by showing affection. Hug and cuddle with your boyfriend or girlfriend more. Random kisses "just because" are prime examples of nonverbal communication that reassures your partner you still care and everything is fine.

4 Focus on the Positives

According to researcher Alex Korb, writing for "Psychology Today," remembering happy moments increases serotonin -- the "feel good" hormone -- in the body. Encouraging your partner to focus on the happy moments in a relationship will help your partner focus on positive outcomes. Psychologist Mike Brooks writes on his Austin Psychology & Assessment Center website that both people in the relationship need to be positive to maintain a positive relationship. Addressing the issue of your partner's insecurity alone isn't enough; you also need to maintain a positive attitude yourself.

Kimberly Liby has been a content writer and editor since 2006, with articles in "944" magazine. She has written on a range of topics including cooking, health, current events, philosophy, psychology, career, education, writing and editing. Liby holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature with a writing minor from Arizona State University, and a Master of Science in psychology from the University of Phoenix.