10 Signs You Are Over Your Ex

If you feel good –- even when you’re alone –- you've probably recovered.
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If you have to wonder whether you're over your ex, you probably are. You're not feeling swallowed up by the pain anymore, so there's some doubt in your mind. You’re willing to leave the house without extra tissues stuffed in your purse in case a crying jag hits, and you're no longer going out of your way to cross paths with him. If you want more definitive proof, however, there are a few ways to gauge your recovery.

1 Whose Song?

Music can be the nemesis of anyone with a broken heart. Whether it was "your song," or just a mournful dirge to lost love, you're probably on the road to recovery if you forget to switch to another station or spin the dial on your portable music player when it plays.

2 You've Reclaimed Your Pronoun

When was the last time you said "we," as in, "We absolutely love that club?" When "I" replaces "we" in your conversation – without a conscious effort on your part – you're thinking of yourself as someone worthwhile in your own right again, not as half of a lost whole.

3 You've Changed Your Social Media Status

Admit it – you cringed for weeks, maybe even months, at the thought of changing your relationship status. Then you realized that if it still says you're in a relationship, a lot of other singles out there will think you're unavailable. If you've finally told your friends that you're single, you're turning the corner. And while we're talking about Facebook, when was the last time you thought to check your ex's status?

4 You're Filling Up Trashbags

That basketball on the floor in the corner of your bedroom is gone, along with the teddy bear he gave you last Valentine's Day. You don't remember exactly when you got tired of looking at them, but you realize that at some point, you seem to have disposed of them.

5 When Did You Last Talk to Him?

Your calendar is no longer a litany of crossed-off days, as you count how long it's been since "That Fight" or "That Night" – the night your relationship ended. You no longer keep track of how many days you've survived without him.

6 When Did You Last Talk About Him?

You may need to check with your friends on this one. When was the last time your ex crept into your conversation, or you obsessed over what he did to you? If you can't remember -- you're probably over him.

7 You Don’t Text Him Back

When your ex accidentally texts you because your name appears right under his best friend's name on his contact list, you don't seize the opportunity to correspond with him. Pointing out his error isn't worth your time.

8 Your Libido Twitches

If you have reached the point where you noticed the hot guy on the other side of the library or you did a double take while walking your dog -- you're practically home free – especially if you saw him -- and then stood a little taller, smoothed your hair, checked your lipstick and checked to see if you were wearing anything better than 'that old thing.'

9 You Haven't Slipped

You might think you're over your ex because you started seeing someone new, but there's one more big test. If you blurt out your ex's name in the middle of a passionate, emotional or unguarded moment -- um, you're not quite there yet. You're gaining ground, though, because you've put yourself in a position to commit this faux pas in the first place.

10 You're Happy

The sign that really matters is how you feel when you open your eyes in the morning to face a new day. You might dread that algebra test or a daunting task at work. You might regret that you said, "Yes" to babysitting for your best friend. But if, deep down, you're happy – and if you're looking forward to getting the unpleasantries out of the way so you can enjoy the rest of the day – then you're over him.

Beverly Bird has been writing professionally since 1983. She is the author of several novels including the bestselling "Comes the Rain" and "With Every Breath." Bird also has extensive experience as a paralegal, primarily in the areas of divorce and family law, bankruptcy and estate law. She covers many legal topics in her articles.