Coming on too strong or pushing your partner into something she's not ready for won't help you keep your relationship alive. While you might want to go full force into a super-serious relationship the second that you feel an initial infatuation or attraction, holding back and being patient actually can help you be successful.
Uncomfortable vs. Intolerable
Not everything in your relationship, or life for that matter, is comfortable. Understanding the differences between what is uncomfortable and what is actually intolerable can help you build patience within a relationship, according to psychoanalyst Jane Bolton in her article "Four Steps to Developing Patience" on the "Psychology Today" website. For example, if your boyfriend doesn't remember to call you at the end of the day, it isn't an intolerable action. Instead of continuously checking your phone and impatiently pacing while he doesn't call, remember that your discomfort is far from life-threatening. Read a book, call a friend, or go to sleep for the night instead of focusing on your mental pain.
It has been a few hours since your date dropped you off, and you've already texted him at least a few times saying that you miss him. Your neediness isn't likely to get you a quick reply. Instead of clinging to your guy or showing your needy side, kick the dependent behavior and adopt a patience policy. Having an adequate amount of patience can prevent you from engaging in clingy, needy behaviors. For example, when you text your guy and he doesn't text you back 30 seconds later, show some patience and wait. His lack of response doesn't mean he forgot about you or doesn't like you anymore. It's more likely that he's busy or didn't even notice the noise from his phone.
Acting impatiently toward your partner or pushing her into moving too fast shows a lack of respect for her feelings and boundaries. Mutual respect is essential for any relationship to succeed, according to the article "Am I in a Healthy Relationship?" on the "Teens Health" website. Showing patience demonstrates that you have respect for your romantic partner and value her beliefs and thoughts. For example, your girlfriend tells you that she doesn't feel comfortable spending the night at your off-campus apartment. Respect her boundaries and show patience with her instead of making her feel like she has to stay.
If you're looking for a serious relationship, don't expect it to happen in an instant. Relationships take time to build and grow. Some parts of a romantic partnership, such as trust, need time to fully develop. For example, while you don't completely distrust your guy, you don't know that you can rely on him to come through on all of his promises until he shows you that he can through his actions. Doing this will take patience. Even though waiting for your relationship to build up to a truly close and committed level may seem like a challenge, your patience will pay off eventually.
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