Your last significant other betrayed your trust by cheating on you. You’ve found someone new and may be worried that your new love will also betray you. However, you can learn to move on with a new love by processing your past experience and feelings and making sure that you are healed.
Learn to Trust Yourself
Trust is about learning to listen to yourself and trusting your own instincts again, says Tammy Nelson, a licensed psychotherapist and author of “Rebuilding Trust After They Cheat” on the website, PsychCentral. When you discovered that your ex-partner was cheating on you, it may have caused you to question your ability to trust yourself and your intuition. Listening to your own intuition is the key to being in a relationship and feeling secure, according to Nelson. When you trust yourself, you will be able to feel secure moving forward with a new love.
Work Through Your Feelings
Don’t bring unresolved issues with you into your new relationship. Take time to discuss and deal with any negative feelings that may be lingering, suggests TwoOfUs.org in the article, “Am I Ready to Date Again? After the Breakup.” If you bring unresolved feelings into your new relationship, it can cause unnecessary issues. Face your fears and insecurities before moving on to help avoid holding your ex’s betrayal against your new love.
Keep Communication Open
Be open and honest with your new love. Let him know that your ex cheated on you. If you start to feel insecure or are having trust issues, discuss them with your new partner. Do not snoop through his things or read his emails, which will only cause unnecessary issues. Discussing your insecurities with your significant other can help alleviate your fears.
Restructure Your Thoughts
Situations that happened in the past only exist in the mind and that people affected by situations assign thoughts and feelings to these memories, says Alex Lickerman, a general internist and author of “How to Break Free of the Past” on the Psychology Today website. In the case of being cheated on, negative thoughts and insecurities tend to be associated with that event. Even though memories of the event won’t change, you can change how the memories affect you, according to Lickerman.
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