Having the person you admire reject your affection can be difficult. The deeper the feelings that you have towards this person the more challenging it will be to deal with the resentment and disappointment that you may be feeling, says therapist Claire Arene, M.S.W., in the article, "The Most Important Step to Overcoming Rejection," on 4Therapy.com. It may be easier to cope when you realize that not having your love returned may have nothing to do with you at all. Use this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Eventually, you will find someone who shares your feelings. That is an experience that you can gladly look forward to.
Don’t Make it Personal
The fact that someone does not return your love may have more to do with the one doing the rejecting and less to do with you. Do not assume that there is something wrong with you and that that is the reason for being turned down, says, psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in his article, “Dealing with Rejection Part 1: Handling Others' Rejecting Behavior,” on Psychology Today. Consider that there are usually issues that are not directly related to you. This person may already be in love with someone else. There may be problems at home or school which are causing a distraction. The object of your affection may not be in a position to commit to you at this time.
Focus on the Positives
Rejection hurts. When your love is turned down you are likely to dwell on how badly you are feeling and fail to look at the positives. In order to counter the self-doubt and low self-esteem that comes with rejection, spend some time reminding yourself of your strengths – the things that make you likeable and special – such as your sense of humor, personality, and all the special talents you possess.
Face Your Fears
One rejection experience may cause you to be worry that you will never find someone who loves you in return. Acknowledge and accept that you will probably face several more rejections in the future; whether in your intimate relationships or the other aspects of life. Find ways that will allow you to express these fears and the pain of being rejected. Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings, suggests Arene. List any reasons that were given for the rejection or any that you may suspect. If there is anything that is in your power to change, then start working on them. Express yourself through creativity. Write a story, poem or song. Make a piece of artwork to display how you feel. Share your experiences with a close friend or confidante.
Keep on Loving
As much as this experience may hurt now, consider that the emotions you are feeling are only temporary. You will be more likely to have your love returned the more you allow yourself to be open to such opportunities. Do not hide yourself away. Keep being friendly and meeting new people, says Frederic Neuman, M.D., in "How to Cope with Rejection," on Psychology Today. Enjoy time together with your friends, such as going to the movies, or sharing on through calls and social media. Despite the negative response, you can also continue to be friendly to the one who rejected you. Spend time doing the activities that you love whether it is your favorite sport or social club of choice. In so doing, you will counter the feelings of loneliness that are usually associated with rejection.
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