He has a past, and you aren't sure exactly how much you do or should know about it. Even though relationships are about sharing with each other, your guy might hold back when it comes to giving you the details on his past flings. If you don't bring up the subject, it's possible your boyfriend won't say a word about his exes. On the other hand, if you ask, the amount of information that he offers depends on how comfortable he feels telling you about his former flames.
Maybe your guy had a ex who cheated, a girlfriend who lied or was just in a bad relationship. He won't want to repeat any of the mistakes from his past romances with you. That said, he may not want to let you in on his past. Instead of reliving his past relationship flubs, he may want to start fresh. This allows him to rid himself of the mental barriers that are standing in the way of his romantic happiness. If his past is far from perfect, he may not want to tell you much about his exes. Give him a chance to start over, and don't press him to 'fess up about his past.
Need to Know Basis
Even though there are some things your guy may not feel comfortable telling you or may want to keep secret, knowing about his past can help you in your current relationship. Knowing about your guy's last love can help you to better understand how your romance with him will go, notes clinical psychologist Jennifer Kromberg on the PsychCentral website. While you shouldn't push him to talk about anything that he's not ready to, asking what you need to know about his past to make your relationship better is acceptable. For example, say something such as, "I don't need to know about every ex girlfriend, but can you tell me a few things that you have learned from past relationships that may help us to get along better?"
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that your boyfriend is required to share every little thing about himself with you. While a major omission -- such as that he failed out of high school -- is a cause for concern, not telling you about each and every former fling is part of his right to privacy. Even though knowing about his past can help your future relationship, wanting to keep some of his life before you private is completely acceptable. Respecting his boundaries is a must if you want your relationship to continue on a healthy path to success.
While your guy may -- or may not -- tell you about his past relationships for his own reason, you should feel safe and comfortable in your own ability to ask questions. For example, you have told him everything about your past, but he's kept completely mum. Speak up for yourself and ask him what's going on or why he is staying silent. If his inability to share is bothering you, let him know that you expect him to at the very least explain why he doesn't want to say anything. He may tell you everything -- or he may say something such as, "I don't feel comfortable talking about my past to anyone."
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