What Does It Mean if Your Boyfriend Keeps Threatening to Break Up?

This is the grownup version of a 10-year-old who threatens to run away from home. Chances are he was a spoiled child who got his way with tantrums. Now he is using them on you. Some people threaten to leave when asked to take responsibility for bad behavior, according to the website for Abuse and Relationships.org. He may outgrow this nonsense, but you are under no obligation to wait around for that. Your next move should probably be to take your toys and go home.

He wants to feel more secure by making you less secure. This is his way of getting your constant reassurance that you want him to stay. Unfortunately, no one has ever told him that security comes from within. The continual maintenance of his emotions will become exhausting for you. This is very difficult behavior to change. Eventually you will have to decide if this behavior is acceptable to you.

He has found a tool that gets you to do what he wants and is using it. Your option? Cut and run. This will not get better. If you stop responding to the threat of leaving, he will simply find something else. He does not respect you and that is a problem. A manipulator does not make a good partner. He finds pleasure in making you submit. Get a firm grip on your self-respect and walk away; no threat necessary.

The Counseling and Consultation Service at Ohio State University lists threatening to leave as a sign of emotional or psychological abuse. It is a power play. An abuser is skilled at making you dependent on him. His goal is to make you vulnerable. The threat to leave is meant to instill fear. He uses it to make you feel responsible for anything negative in the relationship. Take this very seriously and get help.