Get Your Friends to Respect & Appreciate You

Hang out with people who treat everyone as they want to be treated.
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Everyone deserves to be respected and appreciated, but sometimes you don’t get what you deserve. This can be especially true if you have trouble saying “no” to your friends or feel that you have to be nice all the time, according to communications coach Preston Ni in “Are You Too Nice? 7 Ways to Gain Appreciation & Respect” for Psychology Today. Treating others well and setting boundaries encourages your friends to treat you respectfully.

1 Setting Boundaries

You can refuse to do a favor for your friends and not feel guilty about it. If your friends have a habit of depending on you and not showing appreciation for what you do, it’s time to limit their drain on your time, finances and energy. You don’t have to explain why you won’t do the favor. Just gently and firmly say, “I'm sorry, I can’t do that for you” and leave it at that. Don’t allow disrespectful behavior or words, either. You might say, “I don’t have to put up with this and I’m not,” as you walk away assertively.

2 Authentic Behavior and Emotions

Be authentic in your behavior and feelings. Don’t pretend to be nice to someone when you feel his behavior is unacceptable or when you honestly don’t like him. But you should still treat others with dignity and courtesy, writes coach Lisa Quast in “R-E-S-P-E-C-T: How To Earn Respect At Work” for Forbes. You don’t have to pretend to be his best friend or give him special treatment. Just treat him like you want to be treated.

3 Uniquely You

You are the only you, so be self-confident and sure of who you are. Demonstrate that you can be depended on to listen when someone needs you, discreet with personal information and helpful, suggests Geoffrey James in “6 Infallible Ways to Earn Respect” for Inc. Earn a reputation as someone who has integrity and knows how to be a good friend, but doesn’t tolerate users and fake friends. Your friends will appreciate having you as a friend.

4 Healthy Self-Care

If you don’t care for yourself, no one else will, so demonstrate good self-care. Set priorities and stick to them because that's best for you, advises psychologist Alan Zimmerman in “How to Earn the Respect of Others” on the website. Maintain control over your life by pleasing yourself and meeting your needs for healthy relationships and friends. Cultivate people who treat everyone well and you will find you have fewer problems with disrespect.

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.