Can You Be Infatuated & Be in Love at the Same Time?

Both infatuation and love can make you crave attention and affection from the one you admire.
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Both love and infatuation can be described as intense admiration. They usually result in strong desire, attraction and the need for closeness. Infatuation can often masquerade as true love. In some instances, the short-lived early phase of love is called infatuation. However, once this wears away, the real essence of love is free to show itself as the couple either make deeper connections or realize that they are not up to putting in the effort needed to sustain a meaningful relationship.

1 I Can’t Stop Thinking About You

When you have just been bitten by the love bug, you often find yourself obsessing about the one you admire. This can become almost unbearable, as you spend the time that you are apart thinking about what she is doing at that very moment or who she is with. You daydream about her throughout the day. If you are more caught up in the feeling of how special and light-headed being loved makes you feel, rather than in a deep connection to your partner, you may be infatuated, says marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers in the article, "If This Isn't Real Love, What Is? The Fallibility of Infatuation," on Huffington Post. You will do anything to continue feeling that way for as long as possible.

2 It’s All Good

The popular saying "love is blind" can prove to be true in the infatuation phase of falling in love. In your eyes, your partner can do no wrong. You will downplay his faults -- if you notice them at all -- while you highlight his better qualities, according to anthropologist and behavioral expert Helen Fisher in “The Drive to Love.” You may brag about him being a straight A student, but ignore the fact that he doesn’t seem to want to make the time to help you with your assignments. You will be in a good mood most of the time. Even if you have had a rough day, the thought of meeting up with your partner or hearing from him is likely to lift your spirits.

3 We Have So Much in Common

You are thrilled with the connection that you feel with your partner. You feel as if she completes you. You like that she always seems to get your jokes, even when no one else does. You’ve spent so much time together that you can almost finish each other’s sentences. In this phase of love, partners are more likely to downplay differences and focus on the things you have in common, such as the fact that you have the same taste in music, like some of the same actors and share ideas of what makes a great date.

4 Is This the End?

The infatuation phase of the relationship will eventually reach a turning point when there is a stressful or difficult situation, suggests family and marriage therapist Athena Staik, Ph.D., in her blog post “The 3 Stages of Love — From Romance to Power Struggle to a Life Dance of Conscious Love,” on Psych Central. At this point you may begin to find fault with things that you had no problems with when you first got together. The relationship will now require some amount of effort and commitment from both partners if it is to survive and grow into something better.

Latoya Newman is a novelist who wrote and published her first novel in 2012. She has a background in education, research and counseling. She taught at the elementary level for eight years, and has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from York University in Toronto, Canada.