How to Help My Boyfriend With Jealousy

Communication and understanding go hand-in-hand when working through issues in a relationship.
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Once your boyfriend feels connected with you, anything that stands in the way of that bond can bring out his jealous side. Your boyfriend's jealousy could stem from a number of things, so it's important to get to the bottom of the issue. Your boyfriend needs to feel more secure about the relationship, and you can help him do this through communication, understanding and patience, which may result in a lasting relationship based on trust.

1 Communicate Effectively

People have a tendency to get angry during a conversation if they feel they're being attacked. The goal here is to avoid blame and criticism. Start the conversation off on a positive and supportive note: let your boyfriend know how much you love and care about him. Then tell him that you've noticed some things you do seem to upset him and you don't like seeing him upset.

2 Be Understanding

Men and women often have different needs and ideas of what constitutes a loving relationship, so find out what they are by asking questions and actively listening. Ask your boyfriend what behaviors of yours might bother him most. You can also take a more direct approach by asking your boyfriend what he needs from you to feel more secure in the relationship. Be specific, if necessary and ask, "Does it bother you when I talk to other guys?"

3 Be Patient: Change Takes Time

You can't eliminate your boyfriend's jealousy overnight, so be patient with him and don't get discouraged. Reassure him that you're not going anywhere. Let him know in a kind and loving manner how you feel about his jealousy and the meaning you apply to it. For example, you might say, "When you get jealous over the fact that I'm just talking to another guy, I feel like you don't trust me." You need to divide and conquer; focus on one behavior at a time to ensure positive change.

4 Reiteration: Putting in the Work

You may have to reiterate your feelings about your boyfriend's jealousy on several occasions until he gets used to your male friends or coworkers. Essentially, you're training your boyfriend through repetition and exposure in these situations. Come to an agreement on how to give and show love or respect in a relationship. Craig Malkin, Ph.D., suggests both parties make clear requests for specific actions. By doing so, you are setting ground rules for behavior in the future and fulfilling your boyfriend's needs, as well as your own.

Kimberly Liby has been a content writer and editor since 2006, with articles in "944" magazine. She has written on a range of topics including cooking, health, current events, philosophy, psychology, career, education, writing and editing. Liby holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature with a writing minor from Arizona State University, and a Master of Science in psychology from the University of Phoenix.