How to Deal With Regret About Not Asking a Girl Out
You met a girl, she piqued your interest and now you regret not asking her out. You keep playing the scenario over and over in your head, yet it doesn't change act. Regret offers an opportunity to learn from your experience and to make a change in your behavior, wrote Christine Hassler, a life coach.
1 Consider Your Regret
Take a good look at your regret, suggested Dr. Fathi El-Nadi, a total quality management instructor. Consider if you are making it into a bigger deal than it was in your head and if you are being too hard on yourself. Reflecting on your thoughts and pointing out errors in your thoughts is important to overcoming regret, wrote El-Nadi. Keep things in their proper perspective. Although you neglected to ask out one girl doesn't mean there won't be others you can ask out.
2 Let It Go
When you regret your actions you are looking at yourself through a lens of judgment and sadness, said Offra Gerstein, a licensed psychologist. Recognize that you can't go back in time and ask the girl out, and dwelling on your feelings isn't going to change anything. The more infrequently you tell yourself, "if only," the better you will feel, said Gerstein.
3 Learn From It
If you think you can learn from the situation, take the time to write out how you want to act differently when you're faced with the situation again, suggested psychologist Robert Leahy in "The Huffington Post." You might write how you want to act confidently and ask a girl out, regardless of the chance of rejection. The worst a girl can say is "no," and you won't live with the regret of having not asked her out.
4 Forgive Yourself
Forgiving yourself is a vital part of letting go of your regret and allowing yourself to move forward, wrote psychologist Maya Elyashkevich. Realize that you aren't perfect and that it's OK, wrote psychologist Marc Muchnick in "Make Peace With Yourself: How We Let Go of Regret."
- 1 Huffington Post: Reversing Regrets: 7 Steps to Moving On
- 2 Huffington Post: How to Get Over Regret
- 3 Relationship Matters: How to Deal With Feeling Regret
- 4 Psychology Today: Make Peace With Yourself: How We Let Go of Regret
- 5 Maya Elyashkevich: How to Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes
- 6 Evan Carmichael: How to Overcome Serious Regrets