The Best Ways to Say Sorry to an Angry Girlfriend
Apologizing to your girlfriend is always tough, but it can be extremely difficult when she's angry. Whether you had a simple misunderstanding or a full-blown fight, it's important to show feelings of regret and let your girlfriend know that you're sorry. Even if she's angry at the time, she'll still hear the message and take your apology into account as she calms down.
1 Spell It Out Clearly
Even if you don't agree with your girlfriend, acknowledge that her thoughts and feelings are valid. During your apology, show your girlfriend that you understand and respect the way she feels about the situation. Be specific, detailing both that you know she is angry and that you know what she is angry about. Saying “I understand how you're feeling” isn't enough. A girlfriend's anger is sometimes caused by her feeling that something is unfair or out of her control, or that she is being personally attacked. Address these possible concerns in your apology.
2 Write It Down
Telling an angry girlfriend that you are sorry in writing might be the best solution in cases in which your own temper has a tendency to run high. Becoming argumentative or getting angry yourself while you are trying to apologize won't contribute to a resolution. Writing an apology instead of talking face-to-face also gives your girlfriend time and space to let her anger subside and allows her to think things over thoroughly. Saying you're sorry in writing gives you a sense of security as you know that your girlfriend has all of your thoughts right there in front of her, as opposed to a verbal apology where parts may get forgotten by an angry mind. Writing an apology in the form of a letter or a card is also a less stressful option for people who have a hard time getting words out in tense or emotional situations.
3 Make It Up to Her
Offering your girlfriend some type of compensation is a good way to express that you are sorry, especially in instances in which she is mad about something tangible, such as a lost bracelet or a broken phone. If tangible compensation is an option, making the effort to try to redeem yourself and restore the balance in your relationship will be well-received by an angry girlfriend. Offering emotional or social compensation is another way to tell your girlfriend you're sorry. Along with your apology, promising to spend more time with her, hang out with her friends more or to do special things more often lets your girlfriend know you are looking towards the future.
4 Don't Do It Again
An earnest apology to an angry girlfriend should include an acknowledgment of the need to make a change. Instead of going around in circles when apologizing, suggest a solution. Use explicit language when telling your girlfriend what behaviors you are going to stop, or start, doing. If you're really at a loss, it's okay to ask your angry girlfriend what you can do to make the situation better.
- 1 Psychology Today: How to Apologize to a Woman
- 2 Mens Health: 11 Ways to Calm Down an Angry Woman
- 3 Caring.com: Dealing With an Angry Personal
- 4 Huffington Post: The Science of Apologies: What is the Best Way to Say Sorry?
- 5 University of Massachusetts Family Business Center: How To Give a Meaningful Apology