What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Turns Everyone Against You?

Arguing with your friend may make her want to take revenge on you.
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You used to be best friends, but now your ex-BFF is turning everyone else against you. Whether you wronged her or she decided to move on with a new clique, a friend leaving your life is painful enough without the added insult of taking everyone else along for the ride. Instead of acting aggressively or taking the opposite type of passive approach and letting it happen, use your communication skills to stop this great migration.

1 Acting Apologetic

If you're at fault for your friend going from best to ex, apologizing is step one to stopping her bad behavior. While there's no excuse for turning everyone else against you, her actions may come from a place of sadness or hurt. Before you throw in the towel, try talking to him and offering an apology. Clearly, and sincerely, tell him that you're sorry. Express regret and acknowledge that you wronged him. Ask for forgiveness. As part of forgiveness, ask your friend to stop turning your other buds against you.

2 Rumor Mill

How is your former friend turning everyone else against you? If she's spreading nasty rumors, stopping them where they start is the way to go. When a former friend spreads rumors to turn others against you she is engaging in a form of bullying, according to the article "Someone is Spreading Rumors About Me, What Can I Do?" on the TeensHealth website. Speak up for yourself, addressing your friend and asking her to stop this bullying behavior. If that doesn't work, go directly to your other friends. A true friend will believe you, not the rumor.

3 Adult Assistance

Whether you're in middle school or high school or you are a young adult, an older adult -- such as a parent, teacher or guidance counselor -- can provide help and support during this tough time. Instead of going it alone, turn to mom or another trusted adult and tell them what's going on. The adult may have gone through a similar situation in the past or have a more mature perspective on how to handle your friend. At the very least, the adult can provide a shoulder for you to cry on and a kind ear for listening to your problems.

4 Moving On

Friends that are so easily swayed by your former BFF that they drop you without a thought aren't tried and true. Instead of getting down in the dumps over the feeling that everyone is against you, lose the losers and find friends that are a better fit. While getting your social circle back may seem like a simple solution to your sadness, ask yourself if you really want friends who could ditch you with no regard for your feelings. Sign up for an after-school class, join an extracurricular club or try out for a sport to explore new friendship options instead of focusing on your losses.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.