There's Not Enough Affection in My Relationship

Get more affection in your relationship by doing things that you both enjoy together.
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Signs of tenderness, devotion and care are the glue that binds the partners in a relationship together. Unfortunately, if you are new to relationships and unsure of what is acceptable, you or your partner may feel self-conscious about displaying affection. Whether in public or private, you can experience more affection in your relationship with special gestures, carefully chosen words and by simply being available when your partner needs you to be.

1 The Importance of Touch

Touch is necessary for creating affection in a relationship. There are many forms of touch that will not make you feel uncomfortable or come off as being inappropriate. Lightly touch her upper arm when you ask her to do something. Hold hands when you cross the street together. Squeeze her hand to show her you support her when she is nervous or just to show her you are present and you care. Touch her nose playfully with your fingertip. You may even make up your own personal code for touch, such as squeezing her hand three times for the words, "I love you."

2 Make It Routine

Daily acts and words of tenderness can help affection to grow in your relationship. Small acts can give big returns as you make them a habit for you and your partner, says counselor Julie Orlov in “Affection is Key to Keeping Love Alive.” Make it the norm to connect in the morning and before going to bed at night, whether through a phone call, text or online message to say “Good morning” and to tell him you hope he has a good day or to wish him a good night. Have a special greeting for whenever you meet up, such as a bear hug or a quick peck on the cheeks.

3 Make Time For Each Other

Make it a priority to connect with each other. Be kind and supportive to your partner. Be a friend first. Laugh and cry together. Do things that you know your partner will enjoy. Surprise her once in a while by packing extra lunch so that you can share with her. Make more time to be together, such as watching a show you both enjoy together. Study together for a test. Send special messages through email or text telling her that you look forward to seeing her or that she looked really good in that T-shirt today.

4 Be Attentive

Make time to truly listen to your partner's issues and concerns. Listening carefully to your partner can make him feel secure, says relationship therapist Barton Goldsmith in Canadian Living online. When you feel comfortable enough to talk to each other freely, it increases how much you trust each other, and therefore how close and affectionate you will be. Practice actively listening. Show him that he has your undivided attention. Turn off your phone or put it on silent. Put your computer on hibernate. Move away from other people who might interrupt or present a distraction.

Latoya Newman is a novelist who wrote and published her first novel in 2012. She has a background in education, research and counseling. She taught at the elementary level for eight years, and has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from York University in Toronto, Canada.