Nothing good comes from snooping. You might read an email or text message out of context or find a piece of paper with an innocent phone number on it. In these instances, it can be easy to jump to conclusions and make inaccurate accusations. Not only does it cause you undue stress but it can cause your significant other to lose trust in you. Working to restore trust will take time and effort.
Own Your Mistake
Take responsibility for your behavior. For example, if you looked through your girlfriend's email, phone or desk, admit it. Do not make excuses or try to justify your actions. Holding yourself accountable shows that you regret your behavior and do not plan on repeating it, says Dallas therapist Michael J. Salas in the article "How to Get Your Partner to Trust You Again" on the website Psych Central. Tell your girlfriend that you will not snoop again and then stick to your word.
If you have betrayed your boyfriend, try to put yourself in his shoes and realize how he feels. Listen to what he has to say without interrupting. When your significant other feels he is being listened to, it encourages him to be more communicative and may help him to forgive you, according to Laura Ginn in the article "How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship," published on the HealthGuidance website. He may also have questions, which you should truthfully answer.
Talk It Out
The foundation of any relationship is trust, which allows you to be honest, says Jennine Estes, a licensed therapist, in the article "Quick Tips on How to Build Your Trust in Your Relationship" on the website Estes Therapy. Snooping indicates a lack of trust and a problem in your relationship. Rather than snoop, communicate with your significant other. For example, if your girlfriend receives a few late-night text messages, don't look through her phone. Ask her about them. Be open with your girlfriend about your concerns, insecurities and fears. If there is anything she can do to ease your mind, let her know. The more communicative you are in your relationship, the more trust will be built, says Estes.
You have violated your boyfriend's trust by snooping and he most likely will feel betrayed. It takes time to rebuild lost trust. Hurt and angry feelings don't go away overnight, says Ginn in her HealthGuidance article. Your actions need to show your boyfriend that he can trust you. Be patient and do not snoop again. You can tell your boyfriend repeatedly that you have changed, but he will need to see the change. If he asks for space, respect his request.
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