You took the vow to love him and only him, in front of God and everyone you know and love. NO PROBLEM. You also took the vow to be submissive to him ... Houston we have a problem. As wives we all love our husbands, but somewhere through the years, some of the things that you loved about him, starts to annoy you. It eats away at you, to a point where you can't stand to look at him when the offense is occurring. What to do, when you are trying to keep your peace and peace within your marriage.
Submit to God. First and foremost you have to be able to submit to your Heavenly father. If your soul is calling on you to spend more time praying, do it. If you are being called to do more at God's house, go. You have to be able to humble yourself and submit to God, in order to recognize if you are submitting to your husband. It is hard to displease God without remorse, if you are a true Christian wive, and so it makes it that more easier to submit to Him first.
Remember Your Vows. Above all else, you must remember your vows you gave to your husband. You promised that you would obey (or in modern terms be submissive to) your husband. As it says in Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." You must listen and follow your husband as you do your Father. Although this seems easy, it is very hard for a strong woman to do. Remember these words, pick your battles wisely. It is hard to let someone lead you in the wrong direction, but as long as your husband is not dealing with any addictions and/or threatening to do you any harm---follow his lead.
Redefine The Word Submissive. In today's world terminology would lead us to believe that submissive means- out of control, weak, and even dependant. Submissive means to humbly obey. That means to not always have an opinion, but to let your husband make some decisions and follow. You are to do this without anger or resentment but with joy and no arguments.
Pray. Take the time to not only pray for yourself as you begin to become more submissive, but also pray over your husband. Pray that as the leader of your family, he is knowledgeable and ready to face the enemy to make the right decisions. Pray that you two can come together as one and be on one accord.
Evaluate Yourself. Take some time out and see if the above steps are too hard for you. If there are, why? Why is it so hard to give your husband the respect of taking the lead and relinquishing all control. Is it because you have led your own house by yourself for so long. Well, you have to let it go, you wanted to be married and now this is marriage. Realize that you are not playing house but living in a real house with your husband and/or children. In order to live in peace and harmony someone has to give up some things that may not have you and your spouse on one accord. Sometimes it will be you, but if you are submissive to your husband it will not be that difficult.
Action and Attitude. Now is the time to step up to the plate. If you find after evaluating yourself there are some things you and your spouse need help with accomplishing, go to a counselor. You can go to your pastor or someone else if that makes you uncomfortable. If you need some counseling, go get it. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to counseling, it is to help you not shame you. If you do not have a problem accomplishing the above steps, great ... just keep a great attitude and be determined make everyday a blessed and happy day.
Items you will need
Love for your Spouse
Love For Yourself
To go to counseling, both parties must be willing and in agreement for it to work. Pray together before leaving each day and that will help give you some insight into what your husband desires. Realize that change does not happen overnight, so don not be so hard on yourself, when you are just starting to make changes.