A relationship that is downright combustible -- where neither party wants to put out the flames -- may seem attractive. Based primarily on sexual love, such relationships are memorable. Before you toss caution to the wind, however, keep in mind that the absence of rational thought that usually accompanies these affairs can lead to decisions that may be less than wise.
Passionate and Fleeting
It is not uncommon for people having such an affair to ignore reality or neglect reality, says psychologist Mary Lamia in the "Psychology Today" article "Deconstructing Lust." The German philosopher Immanuel Kant noted that, "sexual love makes the loved person an object of appetite; as soon as that appetite has been stilled, the person is cast aside as one casts away a lemon which has been sucked dry." You never hear of "torrid marriages" or any other sort of long, loving "torrid" relationship. If you fall into such an affair, enjoy it while it lasts, because chances are good that the lust will burn out and leave you both looking for fulfillment elsewhere.
- Psychology Today: Deconstructing Lust
- The Philosophy of Sex -- Contemporary Readings; Alan Soble
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