You and your boyfriend enjoy discussing school, friends and your favorite television shows -- but you rarely talk about your emotions. Just once, you would like to have a romantic conversation and share your feelings. Starting that chat is tough when he keeps bringing up the latest episode of CSI. Be patient and wait for a break in the chatter to turn up the heat.
Timing Is Everything
A romantic chat doesn't have to take place as you stand under the stars or after watching "Gone with the Wind." Choose a moment when you two are alone and you are both in a light-hearted mood, suggests relationship therapist Karen Gail Lewis, as cited in the article "Making Romantic Small Talk." For example, if you and your boyfriend are spending the weekend repainting your bedroom, stop for a moment, smile and say, "You look really handsome right now."
Genuine and Sincere
Be genuine and sincere when starting a romantic conversation, advises Lewis. Say things like, "I really like spending time with you," and "I am so happy I met you," but don't gush or become a broken record. Give him just enough of a heartfelt opener that he can respond with his own feelings -- without fear that his response will open the floodgates to a full-blown relationship discussion. Your boyfriend may want to have a romantic chat but is afraid of things getting too serious.
Watch your boyfriend's body language when you start a romantic conversation to see if he is in tune with you. Strong eye contact, uncrossed arms and a relaxed posture indicate that he is receptive to talking more, notes the Helpguide article "Effective Communication." In contrast, if he turns away, looks down or folds his arms across his chest, now might not be the best time to get intimate. Wait for an opportunity when he seems relaxed and receptive.
If words fail you in person, consider starting a romantic conversation by email or text, recommends psychologist John Grohol in the Psych Central article "9 Steps to Better Communication Today." You might feel more comfortable being open and honest via electronic communication than you do in person -- making it easier to share your feelings. Start your emails or texts with the words, "I think" or "I feel" to make sure you are not misunderstood. For example, you might text, "I feel so happy when we are together." He might respond with the words, "I feel the same way."
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