If late night phone conversations or intimate dinners where you two shared your deepest fears and dreams seem like a thing of the past, your emotional connection might be fizzling out. Losing an emotional connection is cause for concern, leaving your relationship on a more superficial level. Understanding why and how a disconnect happened can help you to heal and move on.
Neediness and Nothing
Sharing your fears and worries can help to build emotional intimacy. That said, acting overly needy or clinging to your guy can close the connection. Instead of creating closeness, constantly needing your boyfriend to reassure you or needing too much from him emotionally can turn your romance into a burden, according to the article "Am I in a Healthy Relationship?" on the TeensHealth website. Instead of a sense of closeness, the insecurity of neediness can emotionally distance you and your partner.
Criticism and Blame
"You always make us late. Now our friends are going to stop inviting us out, because of you." Statements such as this one that place the blame clearly on one partner in the relationship can lead to a loss of emotional intimacy. A constant stream of criticism or blame can lead to frustration and disappointment, according to therapists Linda and Charlie Bloom in their article "Emotional Intimacy" on the Psychology Today website. If blame is the name of the game in your relationship, the resulting negative emotions will break down the intimacy over time.
Developing true emotional intimacy takes revealing yourself of a deep level. If you began to truly share yourself with your partner, and ten took a step back, you run the risk of losing your connection. Instead of continuing the process of sharing and caring for each other, holding back your thoughts, fears or dreams can put the intimacy aspect of your relationship on hold. For example, if your conversations turn from deep discussions to the daily grind of work or school, your lack of in-depth conversations may stale your close connection.
Although a lost emotional connection doesn't always mean that someone has taken your place, when your partner shuts down it's possible that she's opening up to a new love. Cheating doesn't always include a purely physical aspect. If your partner is engaging in an emotional affair, she may also become emotionally unavailable to you, according to psychotherapist Michael J. Formica on the Psychology Today website. For example, if your girlfriend starts confiding in her tennis team partner or co-worker -- instead of you -- she may not care about keeping up the emotional connection with you.
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