Many men would be at a loss to know how to make a girlfriend feel wanted. In short, your girl wants to know that out of all the women in the world you could choose from, you choose her, asserts fertility educator Pam Madsen on her website, The Fertility Advocate. To improve your relationship, show and tell her that you choose her.
The "Salad Bowl"
Each woman wants to be the one specific person you want most -- “the most desired fruit in the salad," according to Madsen. She wants to look in your eyes and see desire written there and know that no one else brings that out in you. This hunger is a frequent theme in romance novels -- the man who is so enamored of a woman that he will do anything to have her as his own. Communicate this by having eyes only for her when you are on a date or writing it in a love note. Whisper that you can’t imagine any other woman who makes you feel the way you do when you are with her. Hold her gently and tell her she is the only girl for you.
Desire All of Her
Your girl wants you to love and desire all of her, suggests philosopher Mark D. White on “Psychology Today” online. This includes her physical form and her mind. Notice and comment on her looks through words and body language, such as an appreciative whistle or a “Wow!” look. Tell her that her mind is part of what attracts you to her and that you love the way she thinks. She also wants to be respected. Respect the ways she's different from you, advises marriage therapist and teacher Gary Smalley in "Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships," such as the way she gets in touch with her emotions, nurtures those around her and communicates effectively.
Let your gal know that she is valuable and worthy of the best you can give her, suggests Smalley. This might be best communicated by caring actions, such as checking on her to make sure she got home safely if you didn’t take her there or changing the oil in her car. Offer to help out with chores or bring her a small gift, such as a flower or a pack of her favorite gum.
Give of Yourself
Spend time with your girl when you could be doing something else. Tell the guys you would rather spend the evening taking her to dinner or a concert than hanging out watching sports or doing guy things. Trust her with your feelings, volunteering information she doesn’t have to pull out of you. Inspire her desire by doing new things together and revealing new things about yourself each day, recommends sex therapist Marta Meana on Oprah.com.
- The Fertility Advocate: "Desire is The Real Female Orgasm" – Marta Meana
- Psychology Today: Why Men Find It So Hard to Understand What Women Want
- Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships; Gary Smalley
- Oprah.com: What Women Want
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