How to Be a Good Flirt With a Girl

Convey interest in a girl with eye contact that lasts a couple seconds.
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Flirting with a girl involves showing her that you are interested -- nothing more. Though you might be tempted to try out elaborate pick-up lines or find the perfect approach, being genuine and sincere will give you the best payoff. A girl wants to feel comfortable and know if you like her, so your best bet is to build rapport and show interest when you flirt.

1 Show Interest

The easiest way to convey your interest is with eye contact. Catch a girl's glance from a distance and hold her gaze for a couple of seconds, to communicate your attraction. Eye contact is very powerful, and when held longer than a second sends a strong signal that you like someone, as discussed in the Social Issues Research Centre's article, "Guide to Flirting." Once eye contact has been made, be sure to make your approach before too much time has passed.

2 Elicit Comfort

Make a non-threatening approach to help a girl feel comfortable when she is just getting to know you, advises social and personality psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in the "Psychology Today" online article, "You Don't Say: Persuasive Body Language for Flirting and Dating." Walk over and offer a comment such as, "Crowded here tonight, isn't it," or "Beautiful weather, don't you think?" Be sure not to get too close. Give her some space, and lean away at first.

3 Convey Attraction

Once you have received a positive response from a girl, such as a smile or reply to your query, convey your attraction with more obvious flirting tactics. Move closer, but still stay about an arm's length away -- a comfortable distance during first interactions, according to the Social Issues Research Centre. Lean in as you talk to her, and offer a compliment or ask an open-ended -- "how" or "what" -- question, such as "How do you know Justin?" Mirror her behaviors to increase rapport, such as placing your arms in the same position or crossing your feet in the same way. If things are going well, you might briefly touch her on the arm as you talk.

4 Be Humorous

Don't take yourself too seriously and the girl you are flirting with will relax. Choose a funny opener such as "Nice weather today, eh?" in the middle of a snowstorm. Say something like, "This weather reminds me of the first time I went skiing... " and then tell her a funny story about something that happened that day -- such as not knowing how to get off the chair lift or being terrified of the beginner's hill. Show a girl that you know how to see the lighter side of situations, and she will become comfortable with you much more quickly.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.

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