Texting has become a common way for teens and young adults to communicate -- not just to make plans but also to share feelings and emotions. If you want to get your girlfriend thinking about you through texts, be sure to share your affection and positive feelings. At the same time, you don't want to push her away, so don't keep replying at a rate that starts to frustrate her.
Text messages that express affection are related to greater relationship satisfaction, according to the 2013 study "Using Technology to Connect in Romantic Relationships" published in the "Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions." Show your girlfriend you are thinking about her with sweet texts such as, "You mean so much to me," "I can't wait to give you a hug," or "You are such a special girl in my life."
Don't Text Too Often
In the same study in the "Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions," results showed that men who texted a lot were in relationships that were less satisfying than those who didn't text as much. Though it might not seem logical, not texting your girlfriend as much could actually improve your relationship -- and mean that she is probably thinking about you more. If you usually respond right away and she takes a long time to get back to you, cool your heels for a while and let her take more of the initiative.
Keep Her Wondering
In the study, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not ... ” published in the journal "Psychological Science," researchers found that women were most attracted to a guy (and thought about him the most) when they weren't sure if he liked them -- even more so than a guy they knew liked them. While you don't want to leave your girlfriend guessing about your intentions, it might be wise to hold back a bit and not say "I love you" too soon -- to keep her thinking about you. When those three words eventually come out, they will be that much sweeter for her to hear because of the anticipation.
Be Mindful About Meaning
Texting can leave a lot of room for miscommunications and misunderstandings, so be sure to be mindful of the meaning in your messages. If you send what you think is a playful text such as "Have I missed you? Not one little bit!" after not talking for a few days, she might take it the wrong way and think you are serious. Arguments that arise from problematic texts will certainly cause her to stop thinking about you in a positive light, so be sure to take the time to carefully read what you send, and rewrite if you think you will be misunderstood.
- Psychology Today: Playing Hard to Get Can Help You Get the Girl
- Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions: Using Technology to Connect in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Attachment, Relationship Satisfaction, and Stability in Emerging Adults
- Psychological Science: “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...”
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