Funny Things to Put in Church Bulletins

If you are a church administrator or secretary, you have probably had the responsibility at some point of putting together the church bulletin, a document that gives worshipers information about the order of service and upcoming events. Although few church bulletins are particularly memorable, it is possible to spruce them up with some humor. Some ideas include humorous quotes, short comics, riffs on denominational culture and Bible jokes.

Humorous quotes about leadership, inspiration, and the foibles of community life are good targets for a church bulletin. For example, Dwight Eisenhower said, "Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all." Lewis Grizzard said, "Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." And on the subject of teamwork, an anonymous sage said, "Teamwork is essential--it allows you to blame someone else."

Many Christian cartoons can be used for free if the print run is less than 1,000, or at a small cost if it is greater. Some of these ere "Reverend Fun," "Agnus Day" and "Church Mice" (see Resources section).

Jokes about your own denomination or about long-standing quarrels between denominations can be often fodder for the bulletin. Many such jokes play off of arbitrary sectarianism, differences over ritual and worship style, and exaggerated fears of sin and error (see Resources section).

Jokes stemming from Bible stories, humorous misquotations of Scripture and extra-biblical legends can be ripe for church bulletin humor. Some examples include, "Which biblical character drove around in a hot rod? Moses, because the roar of his Triumph is heard in the hills" and "Where does the Bible say women should wear their hair long?" In Mark, where Jesus says "top not (knot) go down'".