While some people seem to exude flirtation from every pore, most people struggle to learn the fine art of flirting. If you are shy, you might find it hard enough to talk to girls you know. Flirting with a stranger might seem like an impossible task. Like all skills, though, flirting becomes easier with practice. Follow a basic checklist to improve your chances of finding a date.
Retain Your Personal Power
In an article for Psychology Today, psychologist Jeremy Nicholson notes that people often give away their personal power when trying to flirt. Putting yourself out there for rejection is frightening, and can lead to moments of awkwardness. Retain your personal power by taking the focus off of yourself. Nicholson suggests asking a question or requesting a favor, which plays into the phenomenon of investment. The more someone feels invested in someone else, the more highly she generally thinks of that person. Let her get the conversation rolling.
Let Your Body Language Speak
According to eHarmony UK, 80 percent of communication is non-verbal. Rather than searching for the right words to say, use the power of body language. Keep your arms open and your posture straight yet relaxed. Hold eye contact for just a moment more than is required, but avoid the urge to stare. Gently touch her arm or brush against her hand. Lean in slightly when listening to her talk, and subtly mirror her movements. Be careful not to overdo it, or you might look creepy rather than suave.
Know When to Walk Away
An age-old saying stresses that you should “always leave them wanting more.” Although it is tempting to spend the next several hours hanging around your crush, it is almost always better to walk away. A sense of mystery is intriguing, and could convince your crush to give you a chance. It is also prevents you from looking desperate and gives the impression that you are a busy person with a full life.
Leave an Opening
Before you make your departure, let the girl know that you would like to see her again. Some people prefer the direct approach of asking for her phone number, while others prefer to leave the ball in her court. Try telling her when you will be in a specific public place or mentioning your upcoming basketball game. Plant a seed of interest but avoid directly asking her out at your first meeting.
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