A great first date is only the beginning of the complex dance that might eventually lead to a lasting relationship. Whether you have a few relationships under your belt or are brand-new to the dating game, this is the time when nerves, hesitation and insecurity might get the best of you. Building attraction requires you to take a risk, genuinely opening your heart and mind to the object of your affections.
Self-confidence goes a long way toward making you more attractive, notes relationship expert David DeAngelo in an article for eHarmony.com. Yet many guys try too hard and end up looking overly self-centered. Own your decisions, use the direct yet respectful approach and stop searching for approval. Ask her out on a specific date rather than using general terms. For example, don’t say “want to go out sometime this week?” Instead, try “would you like to have dinner at Joe’s Italian Friday night at 8 o'clock?” Of course, if she has a conflict or hates Italian food, be willing to compromise.
Showing Genuine Interest
Part of building rapport is showing that you are interested in her as a person, points out leadership expert Kevin Eikenberry on his blog. This is especially important in early dating, when two people are trying to decide whether to take the next step. Ask meaningful questions about her life and pay close attention to her answers. If she mentions a big test or a stressful family visit, send her an encouraging text on the morning of the event and ask her to let you know how it goes. Keeping track of the things that are important to her shows that she is important to you.
Balancing Give and Take
No one likes to listen to a know-it-all who constantly launches into monologues and never lets someone else speak. Likewise, no one likes to have the full responsibility for keeping a conversation going while the other person speaks in one- or two-word responses. Conversation is an art form, and the more you practice the better you will become. Pay conscious attention to keeping up your end of the dialogue while cutting yourself off before you begin to ramble.
Being Open and Fun
In another article for eHarmony, David DeAngelo points out that openness and a fun-loving nature are powerful tools for attraction. Being open means trusting yourself enough to avoid game-playing, disappearing acts or mysterious silences. Believe that you are good enough for the woman you like and show her that she can trust you. Openness also makes room for fun, as it shows you are comfortable enough to be silly. Whether you explore little-known foot paths or set out to ride every roller coaster within a 200-mile radius, the simple act of having fun together creates a meaningful and lasting bond.
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