Whether you've hurt her before or she's just initially untrusting, building trust with a woman is a necessary step to building a solid relationship. It doesn't matter whether you just want to be friends, or are looking for something more; trust will allow you to both become comfortable and open around each other. You can use several strategies to assure her you are a reliable and harmless person.
Be patient with the woman when trying to gain or regain trust, suggests therapist Michael J. Salas in the PsychCentral article, "How to Get Your Partner to Trust You Again." If you try to force trust on her, you will seem disrepectful and perhaps even push her away. Instead, accept that you cannot control time and focus on other methods of gradually building trust.
Aim to be both reliable and consistent, suggests Salas. If you say you are going to meet her at the movie theater at nine, try to be there a little earlier so she doesn't have to wait for you. If you can't make it on time, call her and give her a good reason. When you fail to be reliable in small matters, she won't trust you with the personal or important things, such as her secrets and emotions.
When you play the blame game, you damage the trust between you and the woman, suggests workplace consultant Nan S. Russell in the Psychology Today article, "Five Trust Building Dos." For example, if you've cheated on your girlfriend, don't blame the incident on the other woman -- or worse yet on your girlfriend. Explain what you did wrong, and explain how you intend to avoid the problem in the future.
Show Self Control
Your female friend will judge your level of reliability on your self-control, reports science journalist Matthew Hutson in the Psychology Today article, "Self-Control Inspires Trust." Hutson reports on studies by Francesca Righetti and Catrin Finkenauer of Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam that reveal people who demonstrated financial self-control by not splurging were rated as more trustworthy. Aim to demonstrate self-control in everything from your spending habits to your ability to forgive others.
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