Dating and relationships are a basic part of life, and most shy girls enjoy these pursuits as much as anyone else. However, they tend to be more guarded and harder to get to know than outgoing girls. A successful relationship is possible, but you might need to put in a bit of extra effort to win her heart.
Getting Her Attention
Shy girls are used to being lost in the crowd. Many are socially awkward and insecure. Your girl might have experienced bullying or shunning in social situations, causing her to build an emotional wall. Get her attention by showing genuine interest in her. Sometimes it helps shy girls to treat guys as potential friends rather than dates. You can turn this strategy around to take the pressure off her by speaking to her as a friend. Avoid the urge to show off, instead choosing a low-key, friendly approach.
First Date Ideas
Shy girls are usually uncomfortable when they feel they are in the spotlight, so take her to a movie or play rather than a crowded party. Side-by-side activities, such as skiing or miniature golf, can also take the pressure off, but be careful in making your choice. Many shy girls are hesitant to try something new in front of someone they don’t know well, so be sure she already feels confident in her skills.
Respecting Her Feelings
Shy girls often take a long time to open up. Give her frequent reassurance, especially when she goes out of her way to do something difficult, such as meeting your friends. Introduce her to your social circle one person at a time rather than expecting her to jump into a large group situation. Allow her to take the lead in progressing the relationship. Listen attentively when she talks and acknowledge her thoughts and concerns.
Making Love Last
Although many shy girls become much more open and outspoken once they build trust, it would be unfair to expect her to change her nature. Present upcoming events that might be challenging, such as your graduation party, well in advance. Discuss your desire for her to attend and her feelings of reluctance. Negotiate ways to make her feel more comfortable, but never force her to do things. Expect her to desire frequent quiet nights at home. If you are a highly social person, discuss the possibility of doing some things without her. Strive for compromise whenever possible. Never make her feel bad for being who she is, and do not allow her to make you feel bad for being yourself.
- Emma Innocenti/Photodisc/Getty Images