What Keeps a Long Term Relationship Together?

Taking on new experiences may keep relationships going.
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In the beginning of a relationship, frequent dates and novelty can keep the romance simmering. As time passes, that loving feeling may grow fleeting. While some breakups are inevitable, others can be prevented with joint effort. There are several strategies that may keep your long-term relationship solid.

1 Staying New

Every experience seemed exciting and new at the beginning of your relationship. Dates may become less frequent as relationships progress. Partners do the same things over and over again, according to clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone in the Psychology Today article, "Six Tips to Keep Long-Term Relationships Exciting." Trying new restaurants, taking a college course together or tackling a new sport or hobby can keep a relationship healthy.

2 Handling Conflicts

Disagreements strike in any relationship, but knowing how to weather them can help your relationship survive. Name calling, bringing up past mistakes and focusing on revenge can break down long-term relationships, according to the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh article, "Handling Disagreements." Staying calm and allowing the other person to express his or her feelings is crucial when problem solving. You might talk about disagreements by saying, "I feel hurt when we don't spend time together on the weekends, because I don't understand why we can't spend a few hours together."

3 Your Life

Remember how you enjoyed playing sports or painting? Putting all of your energy into your partner can actually cause the relationship to suffer, according to the Help Guide article, "Relationship Help." You may begin smothering him or placing all of your needs on his shoulders. Spend time with family and friends, volunteer or pursue a hobby to meet needs outside of the relationship. When you and your partner spend time together again, you will have plenty to discuss.

4 Contact and Affection

In the beginning, it was difficult not to shower your partner with hugs and kisses. As time goes on, physical affection may go by the wayside. Just as spending too much time together can be detrimental, so can spending too much time apart, according to the Two of Us.org article, "How Stress Affects a Relationship." Make a point to talk frequently - about the news or how your partner's friends are doing - to build intimacy and trust. Withholding feelings or emotions can create barriers that affect long-term relationships. Learning to safely share highs and lows with your partner can help the two of you weather life's obstacles -- together.

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

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